Cultural appropriation and an outed pregnancy: Another resident “wellness” session gone horribly wrong

Writing about the disastrous dog-eating discussion in the mandatory counseling session got me thinking…have I *ever* been a part of a resident “wellness” session that hasn’t been an abject failure?!

And now: The time my pregnancy was outed by a “yoga instructor” at a resident “wellness” session!

One of our younger, friendlier attendings had become passionate about yoga, and found one of her friends to give us a resident wellness session on muscle relaxation and yoga breathing techniques. It seemed innocuous enough (again…famous last words).

As we gathered in the room, I was catching up with a couple of my co-residents, one of whom had just heard about the early stages of my pregnancy. She gave me a warm, quiet “Congratulations!” (Of note, the reason that some of my co-residents knew I was pregnant so early is that one of my classmates actually figured out I was pregnant before I did. Another story for another day!)

The appointed “yoga instructor” was perky and young. She was one of those white girl yoga instructors who had clearly never been to an actual yoga class with an Indian person teaching up front*. She came from more of a Lululemon approach to yoga: take some basic principles and do them while wearing cute $100 tight pants and chatting with the crowd. She made some odd comments, like “All of you are now yogis!” Huh? Seriously? After this one class? Do you even know what that means? I bristled at the cultural appropriation, but stayed quiet, as she appeared well-meaning.

We got to the breathing exercises. She explained that we should inhale, then slowly exhale for a prescribed number of seconds. She then looked squarely at me, and said “Well, not everyone should hold their breath for so long.”

I looked up at her. “What?” I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. Why was she looking at me?

She looked back at me, paused, and then said “Well, not if you’re pregnant….”

I was stunned. She then clearly figured out that my pregnancy was not yet fully announced, and she appeared mortified. All I could think was “Bitch…did you just OUT MY PREGNANCY AT A YOGA WELLNESS EVENT?!” She basically thought that it would be appropriate to eavesdrop on our conversations prior to the start of the session, then throw out juicy tidbits to the crowd while we were supposed to be meditating. I did not feel my wellness improving.

Instead of announcing my pregnancy to a group of people attempting to meditate, she easily could have given a quick warning, to hold the breaths only as long as we don’t feel dizzy. For any reason. I doubt it would take a 100 hours of yoga teacher training to figure this out. (I did tell her this afterwards.)

We went ahead and did the breathing exercises. I used the opportunity to count the number of seconds left in this incredibly awkward situation, one breath at a time.

Anyhow. If you’re in residency, and sitting through a #ResidentWellnessFail, sound off in the comments below! This can’t just be me!

Defiant B, MD
*Of note, I am half Indian, and grew up with yoga. Once again…whether this gives me the right to criticize white women wearing Lululemon who teach yoga– I suppose this is debatable.